In keeping with my 2010 focus on gifts, I am happy to report that I have a real, genuine motivation to make some small changes for better health.  Let me emphasize small…

• I am monitoring my caffeine intake with the goal of drinking fewer caffeinated beverages and cutting myself off completely at a certain time of day, so that I sleep better at night.  For the first time in my life, I have purchased decaffeinated coffee.  I am also trying a caffeine free herbal Chai tea.
• I am exercising in little increments.  Now, I live hours from a gym, and I don’t have time or space to exercise for a large chunk of time, so I have started doing the stairs in the building where I work a few times a day, and walking for ten minutes at a time here and there.  I would like to do three ten minute walks during the day and several stair routines, too.

• I am placing a new emphasis on relaxation!  This is the best one, by far.  I am taking time for long baths, using scented lotion, looking at magazines, reading, enjoying my leisure time!  This is wonderful, and the best part is I am not being selfish–science proves that these rituals of relaxation are very important to control stress & be healthy.

I used to be one to look down my nose at such small changes, but now I find myself grateful do be able to do any small thing to improve my health and how I feel about myself and my body.

Also, I saw a piece of advice in regard to health that I am still meditating on–the suggestion was that every work or chore related “to do” on your list, should be balanced with one restorative, fun, relaxing “to do.”  Now, that’s really a shift in my thinking–to make leisure and rest the same level of priority with work.  It sounds revolutionary…and I am trying to incorporate it into my life…Gotta go work on my all-new to do list now!

I seem to have an annual freak-out during the week after Thanksgiving.  I become stressed and overwhelmed in planning and scamming for the “perfect” Christmas.  I want to bake everything and have my cookies turn out magazine-cover beautiful.  I want to find everyone on my list a gift that will change his/her life.  I want to make gifts.  I want to decorate creatively.  I want to find unique ways to tell, show, and demonstrate the meaning of the season, and let the important people in my life know how much they mean to me.

This only lasts a few days to a week.  Then, I come to my senses.  I realize that Christmas is a special day, but it is just one day, and I am not going to single-handedly make or break anyone’s Christmas.  The pressure fades.  I have also been thinking this year about some of my favorite memories of Christmas past–and you know what they all have in common?  The moments that are most memorable to me were all unexpected, unplanned, and spontaneous.  That really takes the pressure off!

I would like to share a few of those memories with you.

• A few years back, my grandmother lost her brother just a few days before Christmas. This was especially difficult for her because he was her last close living relative.  On Christmas Eve, I was on my way to see my boyfriend (now husband) and decided on a whim to stop and see my Grandma first.  All of the family would be with her on Christmas Day, but she was alone on Christmas Eve.  She was so happy to see me!  We had a nice visit at her kitchen table, eating her Christmas cookies and candy.  We sang some Christmas songs together from her hymn book, and I watched her open her the gifts my mom and aunt had put in her Christmas stocking earlier.  It was good for both of us, and a good time–one of those special moments when I knew that I was exactly where I was supposed to be.  This visit was also nice because on the actual Christmas Day, she is busy preparing food and serving 30-40 family members dinner, so a moment to visit is rare.  This special Christmas Eve we had together is one of my favorite memories.
• Another favorite memory goes back quite a bit further.  I was seventeen and my older brother and I were having Christmas with my dad.  My parents hadn’t been divorced for very long, so holidays were still a little difficult and awkward as we tried to find our way between old traditions, new traditions, and a new way of being a family.  I remember the three of us were gathered by the fireplace in my dad’s newly finished house.  My dad had a bottle of sparkling grape juice (it might have been champagne–not sure) that he opened, and the three of us had a Christmas toast.  That year, my dad had carefully shopped and selected special Christmas gifts for my brother and me.  This was a great surprise because my dad is normally one to give money, and I was touched that he had taken the time to think about what we might want and to go shop for us himself.
• One more to share–this was especially a fun one.  When I was single and renting a house by myself, my mom bought me an artificial tree one year before Christmas.  It was so exciting to me to have my own tree and own decorations!  I didn’t have very many Christmas ornaments, so I went on a shopping trip to some special stores and bought the ornaments that I thought were especially beautiful to adorn my tree.  I still have those ornaments, and when I see them they bring back the joy of that first Christmas tree I decorated on my own.

God has such neat plans for us, even when we are unaware.  Let’s not get so caught up in our own plans and holiday doings that we miss the wonder and joy of unexpected moments of joy.  I was reminded when watching the news the other day, that for many, many people, the Christmas season is a time of depression and loneliness.  I pray that we will all be sensitive to how God might use us to strengthen and encourage others during this season.

     It’s mid-term week at the small college where I teach, and everyone (students, faculty, staff) is feeling frazzled.  Running, running, running, and still can’t get it all done.

     Well–here’s a bright spot.  Yesterday morning, in my imaginative writing class, I did a writing exercise with the students.  It really brightened my day.  Wanna try it?  It’s pretty simple.  Do three lists of ten–10 things you are proud of, 10 things you love, and 10 wishes.  This is a slightly more creative and specific way to focus on the good and express gratitude.

     Here’s my list of things I’m proud of:

1. Teaching my puppy to sit, lie down, and stay.

2. Cooking dinner for my husband most nights.

3. Maintaining good relationships with my friends and colleagues.

4. Picking out good cards for various occasions.

5. Learning to sew and make quilts (rather late in life, but that’s okay).

6. Taking the risk to cut and color my hair–very different than what it was.

7. Jumping out of bed at 5 a.m. six days a week, with no pushing the “snooze.”

8. Losing some weight since school started, and eating less junk.

9. Planting flowers/bulbs–an activity I enjoy, but is such hard work.

10.  Continuing to look for the lesson and/or blessing, in each day.

One of the subjects discussed in Chocolaltherapy:  Feeding the Deepest Desires of Your Inner Chick is the way women tend to use food, primarily junk food as a temporary fix, a means of escape.  So, it is a good prevention technique to consider other activities that provide a sense of escape, a change in perspective, and yet are healthy.  I considered this, and realized a lot of my spare time activities are not that relaxing.  Example?  Well, working on my quilts is sometimes stressful (which could lead to a trip to the kitchen) because I am learning new skills.  I am not comfortable with what I am doing yet.  Not all hobbies are about relaxation.  Some are about achievement or learning a new skill.  For a true “escape” we need something that is relaxing!  The two activities that I thought of are reading and crocheting. I love to read, but most of the time, my reading method is a few pages here and there while trying to do other things.  This is not ideal!  But, oh, the joy of an uninterrupted hour to simply read and enjoy.  Sigh.  I also find the meditative motions of crochet and looking at the varieties of colors and textures of yarn very uplifting.  I haven’t crocheted in a good while because 1) I am running out of people to give afghans to, and 2) I am supposed to be working on my quilts.  However, after this reflection, I am thinking that I might need to start a project for pure relaxation purposes.  Plus, I will have a good stash of homemade gifts ready for the next birthday or wedding! The next question is most likely:  How on earth do you find time to do something like that with everything else that needs to be done in a day?  Schedule it.  Consider it preventive care.  For years I got up an hour earlier than I needed to just so I could sit in a cafe and read a book before work.  Making time to do things that I enjoy works in opposition to the feeling of being deprived.  This makes eating to soothe or escape less likely. [openbook booknumber="9780800731892"]

     Taking time to give thanks or count your blessings makes you feel more grateful and satisfied with life.  I find this is especially helpful on days that were just so-so.  When I take a moment to reflect on all of the things that went right, I gain a much more positive perspective. 

     Normally, I am not a person who “hates Mondays,” but lately they have been hard.  Since I am teaching summer school, when I start the week, I feel like I am jumping on a very fast roller coaster with limited time to toss out the information and gather what comes back (essays) before sending them out again (graded).  That probably didn’t make a lot of sense to anyone who doesn’t teach, so I will just share my little gratitude list for June 29, 2009.  One more note, I got started keeping a Gratitude Journal after reading Sarah Ban Breachnacht’s Simple Abundance many years back.  The habit stuck and I save them all.  It’s fun to look back on this date last year and see what was on my gratidude list.

June 29, 2009

• Waking up with my loving husband
• The clawfoot tub & bubble baths
• Fresh coffee
• Summery dresses and sandals
• That God is keeping my car running–217,000 miles & still going!
• Pleasant co-workers
• My students–they are a likable bunch even on a Monday morning.
• Air conditioning!
• Getting all of my students’ papers graded and giving good feedback.
• All of the people who called to check on me after my little health episode on Saturday.
• 3/4 sleeved sweaters
• ceiling fans
• Diet 7-up
• Cold water
• Seeing some of my bulbs bloom
• Fourth of July weekend coming!

     I could go on and on, but I think you get the idea.  I hope my little list inspires you to make one of your own.  Blessings to you on a Monday night.

     “Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another–and all the more as you see the Day approaching” (Hebrews 10:25)

     I relish time spent with my girlfriends–either one on one, or in groups.  It seems that as I get older it gets more challenging to find time to nourish friendships–and generally I think it is harder to make new friends.  This was especially hard for me after moving to a new, much smaller town.  Even with this transition, I have a couple of great girlfriends who make the effort (and drive) so we can meet up and spend time together catching up, shopping, having lunch and other fun girlie activities.  The Lord also pointed out to me that “she who wants friends must show herself friendly.”  With that advice, the Lord put a couple of ladies on my heart that I work with, and I asked them to lunch.  All friendships are such a joy–and it is a simple pleasure to put time into new ones.  I believe women have almost a physical need for fellowship and mutual encouragement with other women.  There are so many things we need to talk about that our husbands simply do not and will not share our interest in.

     Today, my colleague and girlfriend were discussing how our semi-free week was quickly filling up with unforeseen responsibilities and extra work.  I said, “I have been having this fantasy about taking an afternoon off and going to get a fancy coffee drink, maybe see a movie–”

     She cut me off, as if I had thrown her a lifeline that might disappear at any second.  “When?!  When can you go?”  she asked.

     We decided to seize the day and be impulsive.  We enjoyed a leisurely lunch and visit, followed by a matinee of The Proposal, a chick-flick that our husband would have had little interest in.  I drove home from our afternoon fun feeling refreshed and grateful for all of my women friends–the ones I see daily, the ones I stay in touch with purely by phone, right down to my mother, mother-in-law, and sister-in-law.   Besides, being fun and rejuvenating, time to talk and laugh with the girls is the best form of stress-relief!

     No one will say it’s easy to find time to socialize with friends, but it is so worth it!  The Bible even says not go give up meeting together–and implies that this is a “habit” that some fall into.  We need to spend time together to offer encouragement and support, and that is not confined to a church service.  So, get on the phone and call a girlfriend.  Make a date to get together and catch up.  If that’s just not possible right now, a quick chat on the phone would probably encourage and bless you both.

This mug is a funny & unexpected "just because" gift from a girlfriend.