Dear Friends,

I am going to take a little time away from blogging to really pray and consider my priorities.  When I started blogging, I felt truly directed by God to write and encourage.  As time has passed, I sometimes feel that I have to write something whether I am getting any direction from God, or not.  Now, I want to take a period of time to lay the blog before Him and seek his direction.

I will let you know what I hear!

Be Blessed!

This week, and possibly last week, and probably the week before that, I have had an unfulfilled longing.  I haven’t talked about it–a longing sounds kind of weird.  It’s an old-fashioned word I don’t hear too much anymore, and it doesn’t sound nearly as spiritual as “prayer request,” or “believing God” for something.  But, there is is.  I have an unfulfilled longing, and I’ll admit up front, that in the grand scheme of things, it’s pretty trivial.

I am longing for a day to go away by myself and do whatever I want.  I envision sitting in a cafe and reading to my heart’s content, browsing around some clothing stores, and just dilly dallying with no set schedule.  The key for me is alone time.  I love being with my husband, my puppy, my family, my friends, my colleagues, and my students; but for me, to truly recharge, I need time by myself tho think do my own thing (what might appear to me nothing) to others.  Well, as you might have guessed, due to constant obligations, responsibilities, work, general busyness, and the two-hour commute to the nearest cafe, my longing keeps getting put off…and keeps getting put off.

Still, I am hanging on, and I am blessed by the fact that God does not make light of my longings.  He doesn’t  make light of yours either.  He made us, and he understands completely our every need, wish, and desire.  His understanding has no limit–that is one of my favorite things about God.

Let me share a scripture that really touched me today.

All my longings lie open before you, O Lord; my sighing is not hidden from you” (Psalm 38:9).

The Lord knows what we need and what we long for, no matter how unique (or odd, or quirky) that need may be.  He sees everything.  When I came upon that verse, I felt myself thinking I know, God.  That’s a silly thing to get hung up on.  I need to just go about my work, and forget it. Before I could fully form the thought, I felt the Lord’s comfort and an assurance that he does not see my longing for time alone as silly or unworthy of his attention.  He’s on it.  I believe that God will fulfill this desire soon.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rules, the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

     A couple of weeks ago, I had a very vivid dream.  I was in a dark room, and someone was asleep in the bed.  It was nighttime.  The person in the room was sleeping, and I was on my knees at the end of the bed, with the intent of praying for this person.  At that moment, I was attacked.  I won’t go into any more detail, but when I woke up, I felt I’d had a pretty clear reminder that we all have an enemy who does not want us to pray. 

     This freaked me out, to be honest.  I do not like those kinds of dreams.  At the same time, though, it impresses something amazing on me–PRAYER IS POWERFUL.  IT CHANGES THINGS.  GOD WORKS MIRACLES THROUGH OUR PRAYERS.

    Therefore, be ecouraged, and keep praying.  Pray for unsaved family members and friends.  Pray for the country and our nation’s leaders.  Pray for your coworkers.  Pray for the people who teach your kids.  Just pray.  Watch out for distractions and attacks (in the sneaky form of other things that seem more important).

With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints (Ephesians 6:18b NIV)

     My Country Blog of This and That is having an “Attitude of Gratitude Give-Away.”  This is a lovely idea.  To enter, you leave a comment on the post stating what you are thankful for and for a double entry, you can also blog about it and link back to the post.  Click here to read it.

     Counting my blessings is one of my favorite things to do, so naturally I love this post.  As I was reflecting on gratitude, I remembered a birthday I had a few years back, in which I didn’t feel all that grateful.  It was my 34th birthday, and I was measuring my life with the yardstick of the world–What do I own?  How succesful am I in my career?  Married?  Kids?  Fancy Vacations? 

     Let’s just say that with that particular yardstick, I came up short.  I didn’t own a home, I was single, and I felt stuck in a mediocre job that I didn’t like that much.  I just had the sense that I “should be farther along by now.”  When I expressed these feelings at work, an outspoken Christian woman and colleague said to me, “You need to consider not just where you are, but all the places you’re not.  That will gie you lots of reasons to celebrate.”

      I was in self-pity mode, so it took me a bit of prodding to get her point.  “What do you mean, consider where I’m not?”

     “Jail,” she said.  “You could be in jail.  You could be paralized by depression.  You could be paralized.”

     I had never considred my ability to stay out of jail for 34 years a great accomplishment, but I paused to to think.  What if  I had different parents?  What if I had no parents?  And no one around to teach me right from wrong?  What if I grew up in extreme poverty?  What if I was all alone in the world?

     Yep, point taken.  I am thankful for all the places I’m not, and all of the things I’m not, and all that God has save me from in Jesus Christ.  This is a new way to consider all that we have to be grateful for–I am so thankful for the many things that are, but I am also very thankful for the many things that are not.

Here’s an Incomplete List Of My Thanks for What I’m Not:

• I’m thankful I’m not hungry.
• I’m thankful I’m not blind.
• I’m thankful I’m not sick.
• I’m thankful I’m not in jail.
• I’m thankful I’m not living on the street, my car, or a cardboard box.
• I am thankful I’m not all alone in the world.
• I’m thankful I’m not depressed, anxious or suicidal.
• I’m thankful I’m not in the hospital.
• I’m thankful I’m not helpless.
• I’m thankful I’m not an alcoholic or a drug addict.
• I’m thankful I’m not unemployed.
• I’m thankful I’m not living in a country where I would be in constant danger of violence and death.
• I’m thankful I’m not illiterate.

Last year–and even before that, I had many opportunities to exercise my faith.  My husband (then boyfriend) and I were working toward getting married, but first…he had to get a job in a different town, sell a business for a certain amount of money, and I had to get a new job.  I saw things begin to fall into place, as God answered my prayers.  Everything was happening, except I still didn’t have a job.  Oh–and our house wasn’t finished, and we didn’t have electricity in the part of the house that was finished.

Here is the timeline:

• March 2007:  I seriously began praying about my future husband’s job.
• June 2007:  My husband got the job he had tested for and been waiting for for two years.
• June 2007:  I received a marriage proposal and ring (from the same guy).
• June 2007:  I prayed that my betrothed’s business would sell for a certain amount of money.
• June 2007:  The business sold for that exact sum–no haggling, no questions asked.
• August 2007:  I began looking for a job near the town where we would live once we were married (population 181).
• March 2008:  No luck on the job front, but I felt like I needed to take a step of faith. I bought 3 bridal magazines.
• March 2008 (one week later):  I bought a wedding dress.
• March 2008 (a few days later):  We set a wedding date:  Sept. 27, 2008.
• July 2008:  I got a job offer near our future home, and accepted the position.
• August 2008:  We got electricity!  (After a long battle with the power company.)
• Sept. 27, 2008:  We got married!
• Aug. 31, 2009:  We think we have someone lined up to pour concrete on the addition to the house.

I felt like I needed to give the timeline of events, because God is impressing on me so much that we need to constantly be believing him for a big dream and take steps of faith to get there.  In my example with the timeline, it seemed like buying the bridal magazines set a lot of things in motion, even though I still didn’t have a job.

We exercise our faith.  We live in expectation.  We step out into something new.  We see God move.  We see our vision come to pass.  This is what makes life exciting!

Things have calmed down around here.  I am content, and I haven’t been praying for much beyond the every day type concerns.  Now, I feel like God has spoke to me that what makes life exciting is living the life of faith.  This could manifest itself in so many different ways.  Living each day with eyes and ears open to a divine appointment to give or witness is one way to do this that we can begin practicing immediately.

I feel God telling me to start praying again & believing for the completion of the house.  I also feel compelled to delve into a new writing project.  I want to write drama scripts for churches to use in worship, evangelism, youth, children & women’s ministry.  I haven’t written a drama script in around ten years, but when I walk or drive, I see “scenes” playing out in my head.  I don’t know where this could lead, or what the result might be, but I am enthused about trying something new, and taking a step of faith.  That is my big dream.  Another dream I have is to take a long, romantic weekend with my husband.  This may not sound like much, but when it feels like it won’t ever happen (because of money, scheduling etc.) it qualifies as a big dream.

Using our faith is what makes it grow and get stronger.  We have a big God.  It’s okay to dream big dreams.  It’s okay to pray big prayers.  In fact, it’s absolutely thrilling!

If you have a big dream you are believing God for, I would love to hear about it.

A few days ago, I desperately wanted to pray, but I couldn’t get a moment alone.  In the past, in times when I have been overwhelmed or frustrated with my life circumstances, I have written letters to God.  They start, “Dear Heavenly Father…,” and then I pour out my heart to Him.  However, at this particular time I am referring to, I was neither frustrated nor overwhelmed.  I just wanted to pray.  So, I got out my notebook, and I wrote out my prayer including praise, thanksgiving, repentance, specific requests for family and friends, and prayers for myself.  Even though it takes a long time to write a prayer out by hand like this, it was very rewarding.  I now have a written record of one day’s personal quiet time and devotional.  It will be interesting to look back on later.

I am intrigued by the whole idea of writing out prayers, now.  I think it would be such a neat gift for anyone!  I could write out a prayer once a week just for my own records, or I could keep regular written prayers for my husband, a child or other family member, or a special friend.  Imagine how awesome it would be to hand a pretty journal to a loved one and say, “These are the prayers I’ve been writing for you.”  I know I personally would LOVE such a gift.  It would be something I would keep forever.  And, it doesn’t have to be a huge time commitment.  There are many different ways to approach such a project.  You could do one per month and give someone a book of twelve prayers especially for them.  With a child, you could write a prayer on each first day of school, and give it to them when they graduate.  With someone that you know well, you could commit to praying/writing specifically about a certain need, and give her the little prayer book after a designated period of time.

The hardest part, I think, will be waiting the right period of time to give this gift.  I plan to purchase at least one  attractive journal on my next trip to the bookstore, and begin a prayer book for a special someone’s Christmas gift.

The hymn “In the Garden,” written by Charles Austin Miles in 1913 is one of my favorites, and I am not alone.   It has been recorded by Brad Paisley, Anne Murray, Alan Jackson, Johnny Cash, and Elvis Presley, just to name a few.  The lure of the garden is great!  I found this out first hand a week or so ago, when I was desperately needing some quiet time with the Lord.  However, we live in a pretty small house (addition coming soon!), and my husband had just gotten home from work, and was doing some things around the house.

Well, the weather couldn’t have been more perfect–it was sunny with temperatures in the upper 70s.  So, I took a chair from the patio table and dragged it around behind the house to sit by the garden.  The garden is a bit overgrown right now.  It needs to be mowed, but it is still producing.  Anyway, we have a gorgeous view outback of God’s creation.  I could see lots of blue sky, green grass, trees and woods, and black cattle.  I sunk into my patio chair, opened my Bible and had a sweet time with the Lord.  I stayed out longer than I meant to–it’s easy to linger in the garden with the Lord.  I need to do it again.

Just as a side note–this reminds me of some of the odd places I have had quiet times in my life–that’s the beauty of prayer–you can do it anywhere. When I was in college and had a roommate to share space with, I sometimes went to the women’s shower area to pray.  It was usually deserted.  So, note to self:  I don’t have to pray in the same spot every day, and I don’t have to have a special place to pray (although that can be nice, too).  All I really need is solitude, quiet, and a heart turned to God.

“In the Garden,” lyrics and music by Charles Austin Miles

I come to the garden alone

When the dew is still on the roses

And the voice I hear

Falling on my  ear

The Son of God discloses.

Refrain

And He walks with me and He talks with me

And He tells me I am His own

And the joy we share as we tarry there

None other has ever known.

He speaks and the sound of His voice

Is so sweet the birds hush their singing

And the melody that He gave to me

Within my heart is ringing.

Refrain

And He walks with me and He talks with me

And He tells me I am His own

And the joy we share as we tarry there

None other has ever known.

I stay in the garden with Him

Though the night around me is falling

But He bids me go; through the voice of woe

His voice to me is calling.

Refrain

And He walks with me and He talks with me

And He tells me I am His own

And the joy we share as we tarry there

None other has ever known.

Bloomin' Glad!

     I have been mediating on being still before the Lord.  A visitor to Wholesome Talk asked for more on the topic after reading The Art of Being Still, and since I am a long way from mastering the skill I thought it would do me good to give stillness some more reflection.  Today, I have been going at a dead-run all day.  We had a candidate for a position opening on campus, a group interview and lunch with her, plus I had my class, and with it, another batch of essays to grade.  I also have fantasies about fixing dinner and exercising, sometime before midnight.

      The Lord brought to my mind the old worship song by Andy Parks, “In the Secret.”  The lyrics really minister to me.

In the secret, in the quiet place, In the stillness, you are there.  In the secret, in the quiet hour I wait, only for you, Cause I want to know you more…

Just thinking of the words to that song reminds me that there is an extremely worthwhile get-away waiting for me even on the most hectic of days.  As we sit in God’s presence, taking in his Word, his love, and give ourselves to worship, we come face-to-face with his peace.  His stillness surrounds and envelops.  It’s a beautiful picture.

     So, what if you don’t have a “quiet hour”?  I am learning that as I keep my thoughts focused on God, even as I go about my day, his peace and calm stay with me.  I can pray while I am driving.  I can pause in my essay grading and thank God for his provision, his care, his protection.  Keeping my focus on God keeps my mind at rest, and guards me from giving way to anxiety.

     Psalm 37 also came to mind.  Most folks love this psalm because it says that God will give you the desires of your heart.  Great promise, right?  Who wouldn’t want that?  It may sound silly, but I take greater comfort in the verses that precede that promise:

Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.  Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.

I believe that a lot of the tendency to strive, and try to work things out for ourselves stems from a need to perform well and to make things happen.  Now, there is nothing inherently wrong with being driven, but God does not call us to perform.  He calls us to be obedient and to trust him.  Which is harder?  To perform or to trust God?  I would rather trust God and do good.  And what does it mean to do good?  I believe it means that in whatever corner of life is ours, that is our place to minister and be a blessing to others.  Show kindness.  Meet needs.  Lend a listening ear.  Offer friendship. Share a word of encouragement.  Then, the verse instructs us to “dwell in the land.”  I interpret this as bloom where you’re planted.  Dwell, live, fully enjoy where God has you right now.  The result is “safe pasture.”  As we do these things, delighting in the Lord becomes natural, and then we receive the promise–the desires of our hearts.

     Of course, being human, we are very interested in time.  How long will it take?  When will God do something?  I’ve been still a really long time, and I haven’t heard from heaven!  How long, how long?  It brings to mind an antsy child who won’t leave his parents alone–when, when, when?  The parent says to the child, “Be still.”  This is a common occurrence, obviously something that we struggle with in our very nature.

     Let’s return to Psalm 37 one last time.  Check out verse 7:

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.

There we have it.  Be still and be patient.  We wait on God–we want God’s kind of success, not the kind that comes from following our own way, or man’s way of doing things.  As the saying goes, God may not ever be early, but he is also never late.

     It is 5:40 p.m.  I have not had a nice, long time of worship and Bible reading.  I have not exercised.  I have not read my “fun” book, and I have yet to start dinner.  What have I done today?  1.  Approximately 4 1/2 hours of one-on-one conferences with my writing students 2. Two short devotional readings 3.   Prayed while on my way to do something else.  4.  Spent an inordinate amount of time trying to access my Salliemae account, then more time on the phone with customer service.  5.  Ate too much chocolate.

     To keep from being bummed out all evening from a day of stressful demands, I begin by reframing the day–in other words, I practice the saying “if you can’t change something, change the way you look at it.”  So, instead of belaboring the fact that I spent a lot of my day conferring with students with possibly no direct effect on their writing, I will rejoice in the fact that I got to spend twenty minutes today with each of my students.  Each student is unique and interesting, full of hopes and dreams, struggling to find a voice and use words to say what they need to say.  As a professor, my students are the most important part of my job.  They are a blessing.  Next, instead of beating myself up for not having a lengthy and glorious time in solitude with the Lord today, I will rejoice in his grace.  I am thankful that he hears my prayers whether I am on my knees alone in the living room blaring worship music, or sitting at my desk focusing on him between conferences.  I am thankful that I have a God who hears me and that I can pray anywhere, and let every task I take on be an act of worship to him because that is the focus of my heart.  Instead of being down on myself for eating chocolate, I will just accept the fact that I enjoy chocolate, it is a delicious treat from the hand of God, and I do not eat chocolate every day.  No big deal. 

     I have ideals.  I have goals.  I do not always meet them, and that’s okay.  I am thanking God for teaching me to be flexible and adapt to the needs of the day.  I can pry my eyes from the tasks left on my “to do” list, and worship God my attending to what’s needed right now.  I am going to go in the kitchen and prepare a meal for my husband.  I will listen to a worship CD while I cook.  I will have a heart of praise while I am browning hamburger and boiling spaghetti.  I will tear lettuce leaves with a serene smile on my face, as I thank God for all of my blessings, both large and small. 

      God bless this day.  God bless my circumstances.  Amen.

     I cannot say enough good things about The Power of a Praying Wife, by Stormie Omartian.  This was a shower gift I received, and it is packed away with  most of our other gifts, so I checked out a copy at the library!  The first chaper is an introduction to the importance of praying for your husband, and provides teaching on the authority a wife has to pray for her husband. 

     Thirty short chapters follow, with each covering an aspect of a husband’s life that wives should cover with prayer.  The chapters are arranged in order of their importance to a man, and include topics such as:  his work, his finances, his sexuality, and his health.  The best part of the book is that each chapter has a short, specific prayer, with scripture designed around a specific topic.  I usually like to just use my own prayer, but the ones written in this book would be hard to improve upon.  Since there are thirty days of prayers, this book is a great way to help a woman get into the habit of praying effective prayers for her husband.

     After the prayer in each chapter, there is a list of “power tools.”  The power tools is a list of scriptures that are on the same subject as the chapter.  These provide more references, and more specific scriptures to pray for your husband or your marriage.

     Even though I have a library copy right now, I am so thankful that I own this book.  I do not normally reread books, but this is one that I would like to reread at least once a year to keep me on track in praying for my husband.  This is probably the best gift I received.